Finally... Exams finished! Yay~ ^^ though it would be a happy period and enjoy my holidays... things ain't come out right sometimes... i feel lost... seem like im in unconsciously right now... i feel weak... some told mi, if you have friends, you never gonna be alone anymore, i disagree. dang...
Basically, you wont be alone because they only come right through when they need you but not even when you need them? something tells mi that closer friend you have, closer enemy is just right besides you all the time... now who can i put faith on to? who can i trusted?
Doct. said if i get fatter, my sick would be cured... i tried not to eat medicine recently for this month because i trying not to rely on medicine, trying to recover by myself, be independence... still i am not... stupid decision not to take medic right? haha
Why do you think im alright all the time when i am pretending to be? you dont know mi... you are the closest but inside mi, i feel there's an enemy... i feel... disappointed... someone told mi, don't bring your sadness out with friends thus you are making everyone unhappy... the reason i pretending though.
Though this way they might feel greatness but acting a character that i am not everyday is pulling mi down from free heaven... used to it... pretending im totally fine when i am not and they never cares... they just think-why would this fellow feel undying everyday? live happily, lifes is precious in the world; why would this fellow just cant make things easy and think at the right side? don't emo, we suppose be happy all the time... he think too much man...
STUPID ASSHOLE, I tell u now, can u feel happy since there's a decease inside you? can you pretend you are alright when you feel pain all the time? can u smile when your heart is bouncing rapidly sometimes or slower than a clock device sometimes? can you bounce joyful when your life is short?
facing the truth inside mi, making it is not...
PS. Make sure you dont face the truth when Im dead, okay? think at the right side, only makes you all happy.
