At last! i can get into my blog! whole day suffering to get into my blog and XY's blog... to say that im sorry with thankful... Yeah! i deserve for my bad behavior... the bad behavior that never to appear often, hurting people feelings, making people disappointed of mi, killing others hearts, creating broken dreams... and i know I deserve it!!
It begins from this morning, my hp is barred so i though it happens that it used to be... woke up in tired, my arms, muscles and everything is fainted so i though it cause by sleeping late... walk out the door with messy hair so i though my hair normally is curly... reached college and heard that I need to stay back for my make good test in my exam at 5pm with empty time for 4 hours so I though its because of I didn’t study well last time… my buddy is not staying back with mi to make good test so I though is because he need to back home at time…
Now it comes to climax! Interesting… I never ever going to miss it! I following my dearest to canteen and planning to out for our lunch alone and happily right after class, den she suddenly popping with clean sentences that she want to follow her friends to shopping then I let her decide coz wana spend more time with her. She wana go with her friends… lolz actually I can have it next time so I see it through ^^ den I suddenly figure out that she was disappear! OMG… I seek for her here and there and no signs of her but I though she will come back to mi ^^ so I wait~ unfortunately the time was getting longer and longer… still cant even saw her shadow yet… din even leave a message to mi… kind of upsad…
Just right after our final class today, I don’t know what happened to mi! I played my stupidity and talk to her loudly by didn’t consider what her feels plus I keep on blame on her! From the moment I speak out my words, I found out that I am insane! Gosh! Why does my bad attitude appear again! I haven been use to this attitude long time already coz i really seldom do it… her ignore makes mi so down… I am so down and hidden inside my hearts cause I know I am WRONG! And I still left her alone cause I though she’s on fire, running with anger… I duno what I should do, just following near her and never keep my eyes off her, hoping she wont get so angry later then only I will convince her… so I though I let her cool down, pretending to be happy and try not to let her friends to disturb her…
The time has come! I have more than an hour free before my make good test so I think I just study in between of it but I found that my notes aint complete! I think Im going to doom! I went to study what I have… din mention the sky is getting darker and darker! Exactly at the time I going to test, the heavy rain with storms drop from sky… WOW! How I going to test?! I have no choice; I walked through the heavy rain, storm flashing upon mi… before this I asked god why am I so down... now it seen to be the reason or answer for mi… under the rain I cries, shouting between storms matching and no ones knows it! Great izzit?! My body had no dry pieces, my skin has no warmness… still taking test in a fridge lecture hall, wahaha! Finiz my test and receive a message from her... disappointed at mi, figure out that my action and attitude were very great awful wrong! T.T
I make it home... bath and my body weaken, im sick… I cant online to let her know im sory… I cant call to let her know my true feelings… cant meet her tonight and tomorrow… im alone… in a empty room…
Since this morning, my hp barred, my fainted body and my messy hair, my failed exam, my bad behavior and stupid action I made…
I have nothing… but my bad behavior and the stupid action I have taken depressing with mi…
it no and never going to happen again! i PROMISE...
I'M SORRY...
cool huh? all rusty my notes... mixed with all subjects but not in categorize...
TAMADUN CHINA~
TAMADUN CHINA~
